Gossip Chain
by RchHghr
Summary: Just what is everyone gossiping about in the Burg? Read to find out. Enjoy.


Gossip Chain

The weather here in the northeast has been nothing but rain today, and all eyes are on the mid-Atlantic where Major Hurricane Florence is expected to make life miserable, and very, very dangerous. For those out there be safe, get everything in order, and heed the evacuation orders if necessary. This whole scenario reminds me of the time we, in the northeast, suffered through Hurricane Sandy.

I want this fic to be light and funny; something to bring a smile to those who are in rough situations now, and ahead.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stephanie Plum. They belong to someone amazing.

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Its been raining for three days now. Hurricanes in Jersey bring misery and laziness all around. Myself included. The wind, the rain, the sporadic brown outs, and the mud. The mud! I lost a sneaker the other day because I was chasing after someone, who soon found their whole face in it. I made the money, but I had to buy a new pair of shoes because I wasn't going to rescue the old one.

With it being a Sunday, and the Bonds Office closed, I find myself watching my way through a tv series on demand. I only take a break to sneak out and grab some food. Stuffed Shells covered in cheese, a few slices of garlic bread, and a nice soda, and my butt is back on the couch, resuming episode nine. A blanket covers my lower half. My socks have little ducks on them to match my pants, which have large eyed ducks on them. Wet boots sit by the front door, and a rain blotched hoody hangs from the back of a kitchen chair.

Life is pretty sweet right now.

My cell phone rings from the kangaroo pouch, of the hoody, hanging from the kitchen chair, and the battle in my head starts. Is it important? Is it an emergency? Do I have to answer it? Do I have to get off this couch? Do I have to really go into the kitchen?

It stops ringing. My fork goes back into the gooey deliciousness. The phone starts ringing again.

Ugh. Its definitely the same number calling back. I set the tin onto the coffee table and get up. I drag myself into the kitchen and fish for my cellphone. There is a large spider web crack in the screen. I dropped it off the fire escape a few days ago. I don't have much luck with phones, cars, and careers. My list seems to be getting bigger and bigger.

 _Mom_ reads from the screen, along with a picture of her. I put it on speaker so I don't cut my ear, or my face.

"Hello?"

"Stephanie, where are you?" her voice booms. I know that tone, and also, I need to turn down the volume as well.

"I'm at home. Is something wrong?" I take the phone back with me into the living room. The show is on pause, with an unflattering picture of the actress with her mouth halfway open.

"No, well yes," she says too quickly.

"What?" I question.

"Why were you out in this storm? You should be home. I bet you have a window open when all should be shut down tight."

I roll my eyes so far up into my head I can see my brain, and a few eyebrow hairs as well. I hope I don't have another white one.

I do have a window open. The bathroom window. I need some fresh air, and I sleep better when it's a little cool inside. September has been such a relief from the blazing heat and humidity. I have been opening all the windows. Of course, before I go to bed, I shut them all down except the bedroom which stays open a bit. I don't need a creep crawling through my windows; its happened one too many times.

"Its fine ma, I just went around the corner to grab some food. I'm home now. The window is closed."

It's not.

"The storm is supposed to move out late tonight. Stay home dear."

"Is that why you called? I thought something was wrong."

"Steph, are you low on laundry?" She questions me, suddenly remembering why she called.

"No, why would you say that?" I eat with my fingers, my phone balanced on the arm of the couch.

"Dear, you were wearing pajamas out in public."

I pull the couch blanket over my face. Really. Its going to one of those kinds of days.

"So!" I shout through it. I hope she can hear it.

"You look like you can't afford regular clothes. You look like a slo-"

"Bye mom!" I sit up quickly and hit the end button. The phone falls off the arm of the couch. The thud doesn't sound too healthy. There's probably another addition crack through my screen.

I put my show back on play and curl into the depths of the blanket. It smells great still. I washed it a week ago.

My phone rings, and I ignore it. The wind rattles the window frames. I fall asleep for a little while, and when I wake up its dark outside, and Ranger is sitting on the coffee table, my phone in his hands.

"Do you want to filter my calls?"

"Why don't you just get a cellphone case? It's like ten bucks."

I sit up and push the blanket aside. It's warmed up since the storm stopped. The breeze from the strong winds is gone.

"It's a new phone. I don't want to talk about it. Why are you here?"

"Had to make sure the place was still standing," he replies smoothly. He wears short sleeves without any indication it was chilly, and that there was a storm before. He looks perfect and dry.

"You sound like mother; 'you have a window open in this storm.'" I mock my mother's voice. It's not the reason for the smirk on his face.

"What?" I demand.

"Those the pajamas you went out in today?" he questions, eyes on the ducks, and all their duckiness.

I take the couch pillow and throw it at him. "I went to grab myself a bite. It's a lazy day. Its just a pair of pants! Why is it a big deal?"

He hands me the pillow back and sits down next to me on the couch. He smells amazing. I don't want to know what I smell like. I can't even sneak a smell.

"Is it laundry day, or something?" he questions with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

"I'm not changing them. If everyone has such a problem they shouldn't look at my pants."

He shakes his head. "I'd like them even more if they were off of you."

I can feel the flush of heat up to my hairline. I move over a little bit. "So, um, why are you here?"

"While I can say now the place is safely standing, I have a job for you if you are interested."

"Can I wear the pants?"

"I'd rather you wear nothing at all."

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Thank you for reading. Stay safe.


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